On Writing Resolutions and Goals… and Puppies

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[First published on From the Mixed-Up Files, January 21, 2022]

For many years here on the Mixed Up Files there is an annual pre-New Years post where MUF bloggers list their writing and reading resolutions. At the end of 2020 I knew exactly what I would put, which is that I wanted to keep a tally of everything I read throughout the year.  I also took some time to privately write down for myself what I had accomplished writing-wise in 2020, and some specific writing goals for 2021. Like many people, and notwithstanding immediate evidence to the contrary, I was hopeful for 2021. Despite all the fear and uncertainty and sickness of 2020, I felt like we had gotten through it and things would surely move forward.

Oops

Well, my public MUF resolution went down the toilet fairly quickly—like, within days—the ones when my kids didn’t go back to school after winter break.

My state of the union from this time last year

In January of 2021, exactly one year ago, I wrote to my editors to check in about the draft of my novel I was working on. This is part of what I wrote:

“It seems like everyone I know who wasn’t sick the last time around is sick now or has been sick in the last 5-6 weeks. Thankfully they seem to be getting through it ok but the hospitals are overwhelmed and even with the vaccine rollout the government is indicating that schools will be closed until the end of March. My kids are in kindergarten, 4th, 6th and 9th grades and to be completely honest I am drowning.

Last week I learned about the solar system for 4th graders, how rivers flow, how to write a beginner’s code in microbit, what an algorithm is to a 5 year old, the solar system for 6th graders, and how King William used the feudal system to consolidate power. I have broken my head on 4th grade math and worked on an essay on Of Mice and Men. I go between feeling like I got this, and my kids will be ok, to feeling like my kids are being emotionally stunted and that I am being graded and must be the dumbest parent in the class, often within the same hour. Their lunch break is at 4 different times spanning 2 hours. Getting them (and myself) outside during daylight is a challenge. My son in 6th grade with ADHD presents special challenges (including to my sanity!) At the same time I really know that we are exceptionally privileged that, among other things, in the three schools my kids are at the online provision is pretty good, how much most of the teachers care and are working their butts off, and that I am able to be home to manage their schooling.

The other good news is that I am still able to find time and mental clarity to work on HONEY if I wake up very early and this method seemed to work the first time around, so this is really all to say that I am working, but pretty slowly.”

 

Metaphorical toilet times… And yet…

Art by Rose Metting; Website by Websydaisy

Things definitely got worse before they started getting better. With particular grimness I remember the six days we spent without heat when my boiler broke while London experienced several snowstorms and an unusual cold snap. Despite that, my draft did get done. When I sat down last week to read my goals from 2021 I was surprised to see that I had been able to meet most of them. I wrote the amount of blog posts for the Mixed Up Files and reviews for the mock book award Sydney Taylor Shmooze I’d hoped to, I wrote a picture book text and short story, I took a romance writing course and started my own romance novel for fun. There are a few things I didn’t do: some because they made sense to delay, some because my focus shifted onto something else that made sense to take its place. There were several disappointments about writing things I’d hoped would work out but didn’t. (At least not yet.) One thing I especially love is my new author website, which looks exactly how I dreamed my author website would one day look.

 

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

One doesn’t need to have Maslow’s hierarchy of needs memorized however to know how impossible it is to think forward proactively when your immediate goals are survival. In the months my kids were at home in the winter of 2021 it certainly felt all-consuming and while this was not the same as having food or shelter insecurity— there were many days when the goal was simply to get to the end of the day. During this time I also felt that my goals had negative and positive effects: they stressed me out, amplifying my frustration–how on earth would I accomplish anything? While at the same time spurring me on to try: I really want my book published so the only way to accomplish that is to wake up at 5 am and work on it for two hours before the day starts with the kids. Trust me when I say I never thought I would be the kind of person to do that, but I did.

 

Resources and Advice for Goals-Setting:

In case anyone is interested in the research and advice on goals setting, a google search literally of “goals setting” came up with a plethora of information and tools.

  • Here is one good example of why and how to set goals.
  • And this is a great post from MUF contributor Jenn Brisendine about creating “goal statements.”
  • I especially found the life vision exercise of the rocking chair an interesting way to think about long term goals: “Picture yourself in retirement, thinking back on your life from your rocking chair. What accomplishments will you be most proud of? What will you most regret? These are your most important answers to the question, ‘Why is goal setting important?’”
  • Also obvious yet profound is the idea that goals with measurable means of success give us meaning and purpose which is a key to happiness—or more importantly, satisfaction.While for many years when I had little kids, and especially when I moved countries, I paused my lifelong hobby of knitting and crocheting, I think it’s no coincidence that in 2021 I finished knitting the cardigan I’d started during the first lockdown, made half of a new one, completed a crocheting project, and also completed two needlepoint projects. I learned to touch type! (and I’m slowly trying to get fast enough to really use it when I’m writing. )

2022 goals in the poo bags… And yet?

All that being said, bang on trend for once I started the first week of 2022 with a(nother) bout of Covid—then I spent a week recovering—and then this week my family got a puppy. Which is to say… all my intentions to look back at 2021 and make goals for 2022 have been consumed by life, especially said puppy. But if the past two years have taught me anything it is playing both a short game and a medium-long game. By which I mean, being aware of deadlines and goals (eg doing some last-minute revisions on my debut middle grade novel Honey and Me, coming out with Scholastic this fall 🙏) that must be met and take priority over everything else; and having the clear-eyed discipline to make them happen if at all possible (while being aware and accepting that at certain times things just won’t be possible) even if it’s slightly slower than hoped for (see above re Winter 2021.) And also being aware of more medium-term goals (say, those for the year, or the next few months), that can go in your back pocket while you’re dealing with the short term goals—they’re not necessarily visible but you can feel them on your butt. You might take them out later than you’d hoped, but by the end of the year it’s amazing to see how much that pocket has emptied—and things have moved forward.

How about you?

I’m curious how anyone reading this might use goals or wish to use them. Do you find them helpful? How small do you make them? How measurable? Do you write them down? Do you give yourself deadlines or timeframes? Do you give yourself visual cues? How often do you check in on your progress? How often do you stop to set new goals? (Which is to remind everyone—myself especially—that goals don’t just have to be set at the beginning of the year.) How far down the road do you set goals for yourself? Any tips or things that worked especially well for you? Please share in the comments!

Wishing everyone a wonderfully productive 2022 in which pursuing your goals enables you to thrive.

 

From The Mixed-Up Files… Shining Light Onto Death: Interview (and Giveaway) with Joanne Levy, author of ‘SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS’

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(Enter by October 28th, 2021 for a chance to win a signed copy! Details below)

Our instinct is often to want to shield kids from death, despite death being something that is difficult for adults to understand any better. And despite the chances that children will encounter it in some form—whether it’s the passing of a loved one or a close friend’s loved one, or even a tangential acquaintance.

Enter SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, a new middle grade novel by Joanne Levy, about a girl whose family runs a funeral home. Besides being a brilliant idea, Joanne pulls it off with just the right balance between heartfelt, moving, sad, funny and respectful, as the main character Evie must navigate a friendship with Oren whose parents have just been killed in a horrific car accident. I’m so honored and excited to welcome Joanne to our blog.

MD: Hi, Joanne–welcome to …From the Mixed Up Files!

JL: Thank you so much for having me! I’ve been following along almost since the beginning so it’s a great honor to be here. And thank you so much for the kind words about SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS—I’m so pleased it resonated with you!

MD: Absolutely. Joanne, I had to laugh when your email subject line to me was “The book whose title doesn’t do well as a subject line.” I definitely can see that when you’re cold calling people to promote your book offering them condolences (“Sorry for your loss”) might get you off on the wrong foot! It’s both a funny joke but also feels like perhaps it is a metaphor for the complicated business of writing a children’s book—or any book for that matter—that is about death and the rituals and procedures surrounding it. Beyond avoiding putting the title in email subject lines, what were other challenges or complications you had to navigate when writing SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS?

JL: It wasn’t until I started sending out emails about the book that it quickly occurred to me that I might alarm people with a subject line containing the title! Of course, that pitfall was easily avoided. What was more difficult to navigate was including the right content in the book. You’re right that writing a book with such difficult topics (not just for kids, either, since as you say above, adults also struggle with death, grief, and loss) is complicated business. I didn’t want to scare kids or be overly graphic, but at the same time, I felt it was really important to be honest and pull back the curtain on death and funerals in a way that would satisfy readers’ curiosity without crossing the line into nightmare territory. I made very conscious decisions in what details to include and which to leave out and hope that I found that right balance. Even so, I recognize that some readers are going to wish there were more details and some might wish there were fewer and some won’t pick up the book at all. That’s perfectly okay, especially when it comes to difficult topics.

Still, as I’m writing this response to your question, I’ve only gotten feedback about the book from adult readers so I am very nervously holding my breath, waiting to hear from kids.

MD: Evie’s family runs a Jewish funeral home and Evie opens up to the reader (myself included) many of the mysteries of the rituals and practicalities surrounding death and burial –whatever the religion–that are often shrouded in mystery and whispers, deemed too morbid or “gory” to think about. I personally found it refreshing and eye-opening and I think other readers, young and old, will too. Were there parts though that you originally put in but had to take out?

JL: As I mentioned above, I was very conscious of the details I included in the book. I wanted to make sure that each was organic to the story and not just there for shock value. So I don’t think I had to back out any details but I will say that I struggled a little with how far I wanted to go with respect to Evie and Oren seeing a body. Slight spoiler: It wasn’t until I wrote the scene where they open the fridge that I even knew for sure what was going to happen there. Looking back, it feels inevitable that it would play out the way it did (and I strongly feel I made the right choice) but just to give you that little behind-the-scenes insight into how it happened, it took until that moment for me to know what was going to happen even though I’d known for weeks that the scene was coming.

Sidebar: if anyone is interested in my research, I have put a page on my website that tours the funeral home my dad manages – with pictures and further reading links. You’ll find it here.

MD: Great, thank you. In general, how did you balance writing a book about death and funerals with writing a book for children?

JL: My number one consideration when writing for kids is being absolutely honest. That doesn’t mean I need to put every single detail about death and funerals on the page, but I’m not hiding them, either. Kids are curious and resilient and want to know what happens to us when we die. That said, this book is about so much more—friendships and bullying and finding little joys in life, even in dark moments.

Also, I looked at the story through Evie’s eyes and how she would see the things around her. She sees funerals nearly every day and it’s just a part of her life and family business, so while many of us shy away from death and grief, for her, elements that we find taboo or strange are mundane. Caskets? She sees them as dust-collecting furniture she has to polish. It’s through her perspective that we can get past the scary symbols and rituals to the feelings underneath.

MD: To what extent did you draw from your own experiences? You mention in the promotional materials that you did research by “touring” the funeral home your father manages. Did your family manage the funeral home when you were growing up too? If so, like Evie, did you help out? And did you find that other children had difficulty accepting you and/or understanding the vital role your family played in the community?

JL: Actually no, my parents came to the funeral business later in life. My great aunt was a member of the group of volunteers that prepares bodies for burial and I believe she recruited my dad who, in turn, recruited my mom. The manager of my hometown Jewish funeral chapel retired and my father took over that role and I believe by then he was in his sixties. So I didn’t grow up entrenched in the business the way Evie does in the book. But I’ve always been fascinated by the industry and had I been born to it, I have a feeling I’d have been the one dusting caskets and giving out tissues.

MD: One of the points that come up several times throughout the novel is the idea of respect, especially the importance of respecting the body of the person who has died. Can you talk about that?

JL: Not only is it built right into the ritual of caring for the body—there are even specific prayers that require those preparing the body for burial to beg forgiveness for any inadvertent wrongdoing–but this is how my father looks at his role. He takes great pride and care in what he does and that respect—both for the deceased and their families—never wavers. Knowing that gave me great comfort when we laid my mom to rest because I knew everyone taking care of her would treat her with that same respect. I never had to worry and I felt that it was really important for readers to know that the people behind the scenes really, really care about what they do and take it very seriously.

 

On Writing:

MD: This is your 6th published book. Congratulations! Did you find the process of writing this one similar or different to your previous book? Did you feel more experienced having gone through the writing, editing and publishing process before?

JL: Every book feels like its very own mountain to climb but I will say that with every book I trust my process more. That doesn’t mean books are easier to write, just less anxiety-inducing and I know that even when I feel blocked, it’ll come back and I’ll get it done. I just need to trust that process and get out of my own head (or house – long dog walks are great to unstick plots!).

That said, this book was a huge challenge because of how important it was to me to get it right. I was committed to making it readable and entertaining and maybe even educational for kids, same as all my books. But SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS is also a tribute to my dad and those like him who do such important work. I also wanted it to be accurate, accessible, and interesting to non-Jews as well. I have never worked harder, done so much research on a project, or sent out to so many beta readers for feedback, but I’m proud of the result and it feels like a job well done.

 

On Crafting (and writing!):

MD: I follow you on Instagram and adore all the crafty things you make and sell on Etsy. Do you find there is a connection between being a writer and the other creative things you do?

JL: That’s a great question and I think that indirectly there is a connection and it’s that creativity piece. I was always a crafty kid and I love being creative and making things with my hands. But crafting things out of wool or some other tangible medium is different than crafting worlds and characters out of thin air. Still, I think that creativity begets creativity and one type can influence another and crafts have woven their way into my books – quilling in for SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, knitting in FISH OUT OF WATER.

That said, repetitive crafts, like needle felting (stabbing wool with special needles), give my brain space to wander while my hands are busy. I’ve detangled many a plot issue while my hands were occupied with other things. I think a lot of writers turn to other artistic pursuits either as a respite from a constantly whirling mind, or to give that mind space to work in the background.

Hmm. That feels like a convoluted answer to a very straightforward question. Let’s just say yes.

MD: Haha. As a knitter, crocheter and needlepointer myself I am smiling at that answer! 🙂

MD: Joanne, when I first met you it was at breakfast my first morning as a fellow of TENT: Children’s Literature, a week-long writing residency  –I was a 2019 fellow and you was a past fellow, returning to use the time as a retreat as well as mingle and meet the new crew of authors writing children’s literature with Jewish content. I was jet lagged and bleary-eyed from my journey but I’ll never forget how I perked up when you told me you were writing a novel that is set in a Jewish funeral home, based somewhat on your own experience of being part of a family who manages a Jewish funeral home. I thought it was a brilliant idea, with so much potential, not to mention something that would definitely fill a hole in kidlit, with the practicalities of death in any religion not something often covered.

I was delighted this past month to read the finished result.  I think that readers will laugh and cry with Evie and Oren and that SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS will open up many important discussions about respect in death as well as the procedures and customs surrounding it regardless of faith or religion. Scroll down for a chance to win your own copy. Joanne, thank you so much for joining us on MUF today 🙂

JL: Meira, I remember that breakfast well and despite your jet lag and long journey, you were a joy to talk to! Thank you so much for your kind words about SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. It means so much to me that the book resonated with you. While I wrote it from a Jewish perspective, I wrote it for ALL readers, hoping they would find relatable characters and lots to discuss. Thank you for this opportunity to chat about it here and share it with you and the MUF community!

MD: Thanks, Joanne!

Joanne can be found at www.joannelevy.com and https://www.instagram.com/joanne_levy_/

SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS came out October 10th and can be found here and wherever fine books are sold.

Giveaway!!!

Joanne has offered to send an author-signed copy of SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS to one lucky winner!

Enter here for your chance to win! Entries close October 28th 2021. US & Canada only.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

Shining Light Onto Death: Interview and GIVEAWAY with Joanne Levy, author of SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS

Sydney Taylor Shmooze Review: LINKED by Gordon Korman

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Gordon Korman, although not that much older than me, was a childhood hero of mine. Growing up in Canada I was one of many teens who loved and laughed all through the antics of Bruno and Boots in THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING AT MACDONALD HALL (which we all knew Korman had written when he was in 7th grade) and its sequels, as well as my other favorites the Bugs Potter books. It was a huge honor as well as pleasure to review Korman’s latest novel in a prolific career, more serious than these earlier works and yet still with his signature humor as well as deft plotting and nuanced characters. Here is my review of LINKED for the Sydney Taylor Shmooze:

When a large swastika spray-painted in red is found in the middle school of a small quiet town in Colorado at the opening of Gordon Korman’s new book LINKED, everyone is shocked. Who would do such a thing? And why? The school takes swift and immediate action, organizing a comprehensive tolerance program that spans weeks. But this is when things get interesting from a narrative structure, because rather than the tolerance training being the solution, neatly tying things up … more swastikas begin appearing. Law enforcement, residents of the town and the principal of the middle school are flummoxed: now what? The kids feel helpless and enraged. Inspired by the famous 1998 Paper Clips Project by eighth graders from Whitwell Middle School in Tennessee, the students at Korman’s Chokecherry Middle School respond by coming up with their own plan to try to understand the enormity of the Holocaust, fight against hate and racism, and bring people together: they attempt to create a paper chain with six million links. The project takes off beyond their wildest dreams, even as swastikas continue to appear. The story is told from alternating points of view: Michael, who found the first swastika, is head of the art club and the only Dominican kid in the school; Dana, whose outsider status as one of the kids of the archaeologists from MIT working on a dig outside the town is even more cemented as the only Jewish person most of the kids in school have ever met; and Link—star athlete, the glue in the massive paper chain project the kids devise, and going on his own personal journey. The different voices give the story even more meaning as the reader explores along with them, hate and tolerance and why people do the things they do.

LINKED should be a strong contender for Sydney Taylor Book Award recognition. As a contemporary realistic middle grade novel, it addresses modern hate and racism, the Holocaust, a boy discovering his secret heritage and studying for his bar mitzvah, and that Judaism is not a monolith. Everyone looks to Dana and her family as the only Jews in town, but this makes her even more uncomfortable—and not just because it makes her further stand out. Yes, she had a bat mitzvah and helps Link study for his, but her family is fairly unaffiliated—they don’t keep kosher or mind living somewhere hundreds of miles from the nearest synagogue— and she doesn’t like feeling like the sole representative of Judaism. Not to mention that she’s many-generations American; the Holocaust turns out to be closer to Link than to her. LINKED is woven with Gordon Kormon’s signature humor, smart set-up and repercussions, as well as three-dimensional characters who don’t feel like stand-ins for tropes or plot-driven stereotypes. There’s a a mystery that keeps the pages turning quickly, a media personality manipulating the situation to his own benefit, and a community that comes together but also must face up to its own history.

https://www.sydneytaylorshmooze.com/2021/10/review-linked.html

From the Mixed-Up Files, AKA MUF

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I am lucky enough to be part of a wonderful group of people who are as excited about middle grade books as me. When I was first invited to join the blog From the Mixed-Up Files… of Middle Grade Authors I already knew I would say yes when I heard the name! That’s because it’s a play on the name of one of my favorite books from childhood—From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Konigsburg. In it a girl named Claudia and her brother Jamie run away from their home and hide out in a famous museum in New York, the Metropolitan Museum of Art—and even solve a mystery. When I used to read this book I would dream of visiting the museum myself–and maybe even living in New York City one day. This is a dream that came true! Although I don’t live in New York anymore, I did live there for 18 years and visited the Met many times. I still love New York, but now I live in London—another exciting city of museums and adventure.    

I love the MUF blog because it is a wealth of resources, giveaways, STEM segments, articles, interviews and all things celebrating books for 8-12-year-olds. I love writing for the MUF blog because I get to interview fabulous middle grade authors and sometimes write blog posts about ideas and issues relating to children’s books and publishing that I’ve been thinking about. Check it out!

The Sydney Taylor Shmooze

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I already mentioned winning the Sydney Taylor Manuscript Award but there is a very important and prestigious award for books that are already published called the Sydney Taylor Book Award which recognizes outstanding books for children and teens that authentically portray the Jewish experience. The Sydney Taylor Shmooze is a mock award blog created to encourage discussion of books eligible for the Sydney Taylor Book Award over the course of the year. Different people (me being one of them) volunteer to read and review the books that might be considered for the Award and at the end of the year everyone votes. Of course, the real Award Committee make their own choices but this is a fun way to read, learn about and discuss new books. Here are some of my reviews: 

Sydney Taylor Manuscript Award

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Before I had an agent or anyone agreed to publish Honey and Me, but my book felt as good as I could get it (after many, many revisions*,) I sent Honey and Me off to a competition for a manuscript award and I won! 

*P.S. It’s gone through many, many more revisions since 🙂

The award is named after Sydney Taylor who wrote the All-of-a-Kind Family series. These books were a huge influence on me growing up. Not only did I love them and read them over and over again, but when I began reading them to my own daughter it made me wonder if I could write something that had the same sensibility as them, but set in today’s world. So it was not only a big honor to win the Sydney Taylor Manuscript Award, but it was an especially meaningful one. 

Here is a podcast in which I am interviewed about Honey and Me after winning the award.

A New Yorker in London

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Before I started writing fiction, I did lots of other kinds of writing, but all non-fiction. I worked for a not-for-profit organization where, for example, I wrote speeches for my bosses, as well as press releases and articles about all the great work the organization was doing. After I started having children I did a lot of freelance writing, especially for parenting magazines and Jewish newspapers. When I first moved to London I was sad and lonely; I really missed my friends and all the things that had been familiar to me in New York. So I wrote this personal essay about what it was like to drive around London as a new person—and it helped me feel better.